Amelia feels blessed to have an experience that opened her eyes

I’ve been home for about 4 weeks now since leaving Cape Town. When I first got here I wasn’t happy at all. Yes I was excited to see my family and friends but I knew nothing had changed here while I had changed so much and I was dreading the basic question of “how was Africa?” When I first arrived I did a few things that was unlike my extraverted self. Within the first couple of days my mom wanted me to go to the city and go to all these dinners and be with a bunch of people and I just refused. I wanted nothing more than to lock myself up in my room for a few days and just reflect on my experience, which doesn’t seem like a big deal but for me it definitely was. I did that until I went to surprise my friends at school, which helped a lot with coping of the reality of my life at home. Honestly I was surprised at how so many people expected me to be able to summarize my entire 4 months there into a few sentences. I made them ask me specific questions and really just talked about my experience when it seemed relevant or they seemed genuinely interested. 

Overall coming to terms with my home life hasn’t been as emotionally difficult as I expected but trying not to fall back into those old traps of what I used to do has been difficult. I’ve been trying to read instead of watching TV, eat healthy again (because I definitely let that go while I was in Africa), and just trying to think as I would in Cape Town. Me thinking as if I was still in CT and at Africa Unite is what led me to write a letter to the MTA because I felt they were doing a disservice to the surrounding areas by not having student discounts on their extremely expensive tickets. My parents and friends laughed at me but I felt good knowing that I was taking some sort of action to express my anger and I know I would have laughed too if I didn’t get the exposure I had gotten in CT. Honestly I just feel blessed to have had an experience that has opened my eyes to the many fascinations of this world and that I’m able to further that connection by keeping in contact with the wonderful people I met there. This won’t be the last of me, Cape Town!

Kayla wishes she still in Cape Town in some ways, but also nice to be home

I’ve officially been home for 3 weeks. I can’t believe that I’m no longer in beautiful Cape Town. I was really nervous to come home because I knew I would be expected to answer so many questions about Cape Town immediately. When I first got off the plane and my family bombarded me with questions, I felt like a zombie who couldn’t answer. The 16-hour plane ride was likely the culprit for this. However, recently I’ve found myself opening up more about my experience and being willing to share more than “It was great!”

What has surprised me most about coming home is just how many people knew I was in Cape Town. I live in a small town, however, people I really don’t even know have come up to me and asked me about my time in South Africa. The other day I was in the town hall to get a lease notarized and the town clerk (who’s name I don’t even know) asked me how South Africa and bungee jumping was! I was so taken aback I can’t even imagine how she would know that. It’s really fun to hear how people respond to the fact that you were in Cape Town for 4 months.

I miss so much about Cape Town- the co-educators, my internship, the food, the children at my activist project. On the other hand, it is also nice to have some of the conveniences of home such as a dryer and a car. However, I would trade those conveniences to be back in Cape Town any day.

So far, this summer I have been keeping extremely busy. I have an internship that I’m working at 3 days a week and then a part-time job I’m working at 5 days a week. I’ve found that keeping busy is the best way to keep myself happy otherwise I get so sad realizing how little there is to do in the area around me. I miss waking up in the morning, going upstairs, and asking my friends what adventure we’ll be doing that day…whether it be going to the beach, a food market, the city, etc. However, overall, my transition back to America hasn’t been incredibly difficult. I wish I was still in Cape Town but in some ways, it is also nice to be home.

Cape Town Coeducators:Amelia, Becca, Lily, Emily,
Megan, Mariko, Isabel, Collette, Kayla, Caroline

Meg wouldn't trade her Cape Town experience for the world

Coming home has been so much different than I thought it would be like. I thought I would have reverse culture shock the minute I stepped off the plane and be weirded out by everything. This only happened when we were walking to customs and everyone around us seemed like they were walking at lightening speed, which was a terrifying reminder that I was back in a country that took time very seriously. However, the first couple of days seemed easy, like I fell right back into everything. And then the realization hit that as of now, I am here for good, not going back soon, stuck. That was pretty daunting.

 Of course I miss the people a ton, but I have been in contact with some of the CMES staff which has been really nice. I miss the daily routine, and shockingly enough I actually do miss living in our crazy crowded house. Going from being able to always talk to someone to living basically by myself has been a hard adjustment for sure. But above all, I think the hardest adjustment had been dealing with this feeling of suffocation. I got so used to being able to go the beach or hike a mountain or even paraglide whenever I felt like it. There was always a sense of space and freedom living in Cape Town that is definitely not the same here. Living in New York City makes me miss and think about the mountains at least twice a day.

It has been interesting noticing the difference in people’s attitudes also. No one in New York smiles at you or really even looks you in the eye. A few times people have struck up conversations with me on the subway, but my sisters say this is rare and only because I probably look like the most approachable one. I have no problem with this, I feel bad for majority of the people who live here who move place to place with headphones in and heads down, I cant help but feel like the are missing out on so much of life. It is also really interesting to be around people who don’t always understand your love for nature, or why you relate everything back to social justice without even thinking about it, or why you keep mentioning the phrase, “when I was in South Africa…”. Avoiding that last part has proven more difficult than I imagined it would be. It’s so hard not to talk about the trip because that has been the last four months of my life! Also people ask about it all the time, so that just makes me think about it even more!

I think in general the transition back was easier than expected, but also more lonely than expected. I miss the feeling of feeling like I am living the life I want to be living. I miss the feeling of living a life with purpose and not just moving through the motions. I miss the freedom that Cape Town provided, the adventure, the excitement. But even though I miss it, I wouldn’t trade the experience for the world. I count my blessings every day that I had this trip in my life, and cannot wait to continue to see how it shapes me and my life to come.

Meg's South African smile

Alex Z sees Cape Town in her future

It's been less than three weeks away from Cape Town and I'm already channeling my focus into buying a plane ticket back in late December. For those who haven't experienced Cape Town...you have no idea how much it's going to hook you until you get there. Every aspiration and plan that I have right now involves getting back there to feel the sheer happiness that I've experienced nowhere else. I've been keeping in contact with my friends (coworkers from my internship at the aquarium), and keep them informed on my life and when I'll be back home to see them.  It's been hard to adjust to this average life...one that I've always known and have come to realize is too slow. Adventure is in the future, and as of right now, that's in Cape Town.

Alex with co-workers from Two Oceans Aquarium

Megan endlessly grateful for my time in South Africa

I have now been back in the US for a little over 2 weeks. There are honestly so many feelings I have been having that I didn’t expect to have when I returned, however there are a lot of things happening that I accurately predicted would occur before my departure from Cape Town. I have had some interesting talks with my family, I have had some definite sticker shock, I am more socially aware, I crave mac and cheese balls from OBM daily, and a lot of people have asked me what it was like to live in a hut. The most prominent, however, is the ache I feel when I think about Cape Town. I miss the city, the people I connected with, my co-educators, and the way I felt there endlessly. I knew I would miss it, however the powerfulness of the longing is stronger than expected. I’m not really a crier, but you could catch me shedding a tear or two when I get nostalgic over CPT.

    

On a better note, one thing I have noticed is I am an infinitely more positive person. I think this is the result of a renewed gratitude for my life and adaptability. As for gratitude, the people that I met were grateful for things that are so much simpler than anything I would have given thanks for before my trip there. I went to Target the day following our landing with my mom (because who didn’t miss Target honestly), and my mom just looked at me and said “Stop saying thank you for everything you put in the cart!! You don’t have to say thank you for every granola bar!!” I didn’t realize I was doing it, and apparently I hadn’t before I left for the trip. But in Target that day, I was looking at the huge array of clothes, and mom’s carts filled to the brim, and specialty snacks that cost what a full meal would have cost in Cape Town, and thought how many people I met that would be in almost paralyzing gratitude if they could do or afford the same things as the people in that store. That wasn’t something I could find the words to truly explain to my mother in the moment, however, without sounding like one of those “there are starving kids in Africa!!” people. I didn’t stop saying thank you, though.

     

As for adaptability, from learning from people who had to constantly adapt to their much harsher environments, and from learning to adapt to the life I lead there, I can roll with the punches so much more now. I have always been a person that has liked to plan my life out for the next 10 years, and while I still do that in a sense, I am not as upset when things don’t work out in my favor, or if I get a better idea that will offset previous plans. Cape Town was not in the plans for me. I simply went to the symposium because I was curious and was looking into study abroads for junior year, but decided to apply that day. It was not that well thought out, truly, but I just knew I wanted to go so badly. I had about 2 weeks where I was struggling with whether or not I would go if accepted. I finally let myself do what I wanted instead of what I felt like I should be doing, and decided if accepted I would go. I was nervous I would change my mind, so I literally made a hand-written contract with myself and put it on my wall. It said, “If accepted to the program, I will study abroad in Cape Town Spring 2016” and signed and dated it. I still have it and still put it on my wall, as a reminder that the things that I never thought I would do could turn out to be the most amazing experiences of my life.  Having this challenging, amazing experience I never expected has made me so much more willing to accept things I never planned for.

    

Now that I am home, my number one objective is to find the sense of fulfillment that I found in Cape Town at home. Here, I have more responsibilities that have less to do with my personal growth and adventure, however I still do believe I can find it. I just accepted an internship with Elizabeth Esty’s district office, where I will get to work directly with families to help them get services they need from the government. I am trying to find somewhere to volunteer when I can, because I miss being able to play with the kids in Athlone, Oceanview and in Soweto and feeling like I am giving back some of the bounty I have been given. I also have kept journaling, and have started trying to read more instead of being on my phone or watching shows, as that makes me much happier. These are simple changes, however they are helping to reconcile what I feel is missing here that I found in Cape Town.

    

 In the times where all I can think about is how much I miss it, I find myself listening to Jeremy Loops and Desmond and the Tutus on repeat, reaching out to my co-educators and coworkers from Right2Know, and repeatedly looking at all the amazing pictures I now have. Most people from home are already tiring of me constantly talking about my experience, so I am so thankful I have these people to reach out to. No matter how different I feel now, or how differently I think my life will now be, I am endlessly grateful for my time in South Africa. I am one of the luckiest people in the world, I think, and I will try to bring what I learned there into my life daily.

Though I will be back someday, of course. 

Cape Town co-edcuators: Maria, Isabel, Meg, Kayla and Megan (who will of course be back someday!)