Returning home from Cape Town has
been a lesson for me in being patient with myself and others. I have never
spent such a long period of time away from home so I was not entirely sure what
to expect from my homecoming. I knew going into this that it would
be harder coming home than leaving home and that expectation has been
realized in the past couple of weeks. Upon meeting up with my family at the
airport I expected to feel relieved to be home for the first time in months,
but I was still really caught up in the whirlwind of emotions I associated with
leaving Cape Town.
Despite being home for a couple of
weeks now, I am still very caught up in those feelings. Getting to see my
family, particularly my younger siblings (who grew SO much) has been incredible
and I feel very lucky to have such supportive and kind people in my life.
However, outside of everyone I was in Cape Town with I have very few people in
my life who can relate to this experience which has made it difficult to
discuss my homesickness for a place that is not technically my home. I'm not
sure the language to encapsulate the feelings I've been having really exists
but overall I would describe my current state as content and confused.
In one of my first blog posts I
remember writing a post that interrogated the concept of "home," in
relation to my feelings towards Cape Town. Now, having left, I feel that all
the more. I have learned that a place does not have to be where you were born
and raised to feel like a home to you. Now when people ask me if I'm planning
on returning to South Africa, it sounds like a silly question to me. How
could anyone experience these feelings towards any place, and simply
not return? Of course I'll go back home. My concerns in the
interim lay mostly in making sure that I don't lose the insights
that I gained in South Africa which will not be an easy thing to maintain
but will surely be worth the time and effort.
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