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| Maria concluding orientation at an Ajax vs Golden Arrows game at Cape Town Stadium |
although I absolutely loved being a tourist for two weeks, I was glad to turn the page and begin my internship. despite my efforts to not entertain expectations, I found myself momentarily disappointed when the reality of my internship set in. I didn't expect to be so uncomfortable with the behind scenes of medicine. I was more disappointed in myself for being scared to change diapers, deal with bed pans and the lovely smells of the hospital. in the effort of finding my zen, I'm trying to entertain the idea of being comfortable with the uncomfortable. therefore, by day two, I found myself changing diapers, feeding tiny humans and fetching supplies from the storage room.
whenever I enter something new, I'm
always overtaken by the fear of messing up. I feel the need to know what I'm
doing before I actually do something. however, there is not much time for that
in the medical field. by day three, I happily accept that each day brings new
challenges. today, I found myself feeding a seven year old while listening to
her life story. in my almost three weeks here, I'm learning the importance of
listening for the sake of listening rather than talking. not only did I happily
listen to that girl's inspiring life story but I also listened to another
little girl's version of a book in Afrikaans. the best part was that she had no
clue that I didn't understand her story but I'm entirely sure there's no better
way to spend a morning.
yesterday, I had the privilege of
participating in rounds. so eager to listen to every word, I found myself being
tripped over by just about every doctor, medical student, nurse and
physiotherapist. I fully intend to absorb every inch of information in a ten
foot radius in Cape Town. during rounds, I faced the reality of health in Cape
Town. almost two thirds of the cutest tiny humans I've ever experienced are
currently battling various forms of tuberculosis. I fought back tears with
every diagnosis. every time I closed my eyes last night, all I could see was
the X-ray of a ten year old girl whose bones had actually holes in them. today,
I felt bad kneeling over when a five year old with both feet in casts told me
to stand so I could help her walk. nothing has ever brought such happiness to
my soul than to help a child walk. scared she'd fall (of course she's too
strong to fall), I offered my hands to this little girl who was walking with the support of
every crib, bed or locker in sight.
while I'm struggling to adjust to
the differences in medicine here from the states, I'm beyond excited to embrace
every opportunity thrown my way. with every opportunity, I realize just how
much help I can be to the medical field one day. I'm still praying that Doctors
Without Borders will change my life one day. I realized today while singing
"molo it's me" to just about every girl in the ward that my wish to
spend my days entertaining tiny humans are coming true.
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